Never Again Be Controlled by Fear

“You can get rid of the voice in your head that says you can’t do it.” – Ty Boyd

What is it that people actually fear about speaking in front of a crowd? Worst case scenario: being laughed off the stage, being booed, being bombarded with rotten eggs and tomatoes. But does that really ever happen? Outside of the movies? If you can make peace with the worst case scenario, you will take much of the fear out of the fear of public speaking.

Here’s the truth about fear:

• Fear only controls you when you give into it
• The simple task of walking through your fear – doing what you fear, then doing it again – transforms your fear into courage
• Fear is a habit. You can establish a new habit by faking it until you make it
• Your fear rarely shows. And when it does show, it shows less than you think
• Fear is rooted in perfectionism – accept that you are human and remember that vulnerability is an asset in effective communication.
• Fear is normal
• Fear can be transformed into one of your greatest tools

At Ty Boyd, Inc., we help our clients disarm their fear and make it work for them. You can survive even your worst-case scenario; preparation and practice will see you through it.

Some Thoughts About Diminishing Fear

• Develop a personal mantra or affirmation that cuts the power of your fear. Phrase it in the present tense, as if it were already true. Repeat it daily. Look at yourself in the mirror and say the words. “What I feel is normal and has no power over me. It does not hold me back or limit me in any way.” Or, “Fear is an old habit. My new habit is confidence.”
• Practice relaxation techniques regularly, not just before big presentations.
• Talk about your fear to people you can trust.
• Slow down. If your heart is racing, slow down all of the physical responses you can – voice, movements. Take the time to make eye contact.
• Stand tall and breathe correctly (chapter eight), which will strengthen your voice and eliminate the quivers.
• Smile.
• Practice, practice, practice.
• Turn your fear into energy 

Is fear holding you back? 
If you are afraid of being wrong or looking foolish or sounding nervous – you need to address it. Ty Boyd’s Excellence in Speaking course can help. Our approach to speaking in public combines peer review with professional coaching. Everybody, regardless of one’s abilities, benefits from confronting fears and insecurities associated with public speaking.

Do you need more time before committing or weighing in on an idea? 
Then say so. It’s perfectly acceptable to be up front about your thinking process without coming across as evasive or non-committal. Tell your audience that your initial reaction is x, but that you need more time to analyze the data properly.

Are you prepared?
It’s always easier to speak up when you know the agenda before the meeting. This gives you the opportunity to collect your thoughts and prepare what you are going to say about the topics that will be discussed.

Do you know your audience?
Be aware of the company culture and consider the communication styles of the individuals in the meeting. If your manager likes facts – don’t give her generalizations. If your boss is a bottom line kind of guy – don’t bore him with detail.

Keep in mind that you are at the meeting because people want to hear what you have to say. You were hired for a reason and it is your responsibility to voice your opinions. Nobody expects you to know everything or always be right, but they certainly want to hear you try. They are looking to you to  offer your insight and solutions; any new thinking may prompt the people in the meeting to expand in a new direction and push to develop a better solution. Do them a favor while doing yourself a favor – speak up.