Developing Charisma Means Putting The Audience Center Stage

Focus your attention, your energy and your interest on connecting with the audience, on meeting their needs, and they will be yours. They will follow you.

This is the first basic principle of charisma.

Think charisma is magic you’re born with? In some cases, probably. But it can be developed. Because charisma isn’t what most of us think.

It isn’t about shining a spotlight on me so you’ll fall for my charm. That, in fact, is the kiss of death to charisma. The secret to charisma is making others feel special about themselves. It is about setting aside ego long enough to trigger a passion in someone else. It’s about focusing attention and genuine interest on others.

And we can all learn to do that! We can all learn to shine a spotlight on the people we are talking to. We can all learn to focus on our audience, whether it’s an audience of one or one thousand.

One of the most powerful tools you have for connecting with your audience is to focus on that audience. Think about the individuals who showed up to listen to you. Think about serving them and discovering who they are and what you can do for them during the time you have with them. Consider each talk you make a dialogue, not a monologue. 

When we see it at work, when we are on the receiving end of a message aimed at us, tailored to our needs, we are captured by that message. The speaker has drawn our attention, moved us to action or emotion. That, we think, is a powerful speaker. That, we think, is charisma. Actually, it’s simply a speaker who cares more about communicating than she or he cares about being the star. 

Here are some ways to make quick connections with your audience:

• ASK MEANINGFUL QUESTIONS: Don’t make them difficult questions, of course. Questions quickly get you into an active dialogue with your audience, even if you’re simply asking a yes or no question that requires nothing more than raised hands or nods. Even more effective in some situations are questions that require real answers from the audience. For example, at ESI we always begin by asking attendees what common traits they see in effective speakers. We begin writing a list on the whiteboard or flipchart. This loosens people up every time. It gives us information about our audience and begins to acquaint us with their personalities, too.

• KNOW WHAT YOU WANT: Look at your audience, see them, realize they’re real people, and decide what you want from them. Do you want to surprise them, stir them, interest them, inspire them, make them change, amuse them, make a friend of them? Define your goal and go after it.

• USE FACTS AND FEELINGS: Individuals respond differently and learn differently, and it is our job as communicators to meet them where they are. To communicate in a variety of ways. One of the broadest differences in our audience members is between those who learn from facts and those who learn from feelings. You can reach them both. Deliver the same information using a different method. Everybody in the room connects with either the statistics or the storytelling, the facts or the feelings. Use both and you’ll discover you connect with everyone in the audience.

• LOOK THEM IN THE EYE: Don’t be afraid to look them in the eye!

• BE VULNERABLE: Do you remember the earlier discussion about the power of being vulnerable? We must learn to be private in public, to be open and trusting instead of guarded. That doesn’t mean telling all about your escapades. It might mean demonstrating one of your points by telling the story of a time when you missed the boat entirely. It might even be as simple as pausing at powerful moments, allowing your emotions to show. It is the willingness not to be perfect. To laugh at yourself. To enjoy the moment. But remember this: it never means telling them you’re afraid or unprepared. That makes them nervous. So keep that one to yourself.

*Learn more in Chapter 4 of Ty Boyd’s Million Dollar Toolbox book.